The 400 pound mile

2009-05-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone

I must say. The journey of the last 3 years has been incredible. I have seen much and have experieneced even more. I have had friends stand by me, friends leave me, and people who don't even know they helped me come and go. As it is, I have been putting off comming back to this blog so a few reasons. Mainly was that it was a mark of failure. I failed even when putting as much effort as I could into this.

But, with that said, I can come back now I think. When I started this blog I was sitting at a whopping 412 pounds or so. I lost a bit, got sidetracked, got addicted to WoW, didn't care and balooned up to 460 pounds.

There I was August of 2008 in my parents basement playing video games, with no real education sitting at 460 pounds and 23 years old. Pretty much rock bottom. With the help of my mom I wrote my GED, passed and applied to Fanshawe College. After going to Fanshawe I realised I couldn't sit in any of the desks. So I started walking some more, trying to shed some weight.

The major turning point was sitting at a friends house looking at old pictures and people going "wow, what happened Tyler". What did happen indeed. This was the point I commited myself to a life change.

Now, 8 months later I am down to 325 pounds from the 460 I was last August. Life is better, I am healthier and I feel as though I can come back here and post my thoughts without feelings of regret. Hopefully if you have come here, this blog can show you something. The true struggle people who are overweight feel. It is a diary, or a window into the souls of the pains we go through, the highs and lows and truly the mental state this issue puts us in.

Thank you again for everything.

- Tyler

WooT New Place!

2007-01-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

Well sorry for the few days there. I did alot of crap this week!.

First and foremost I signed the lease on my new place. I am finally moving out of my parents house. It only took me 4 days of searching and I found the perfect place. It is 10 minutes from work and 15 mins from school walking. Right now work is 2 hours from work and 2 hours from school walking, or an hour and a half on the bus each way. This will make my life by far much easier to manage.

I also managed to put in 65 hours this week. Combined with 60 hours last week and all the stat holidays I will have the cash for first and last! =)

I have been keeping to the gym, working up my endurance and will be getting some help with a workout this Friday. I am planning to play football at University so will be working towards getting into shape for that.

I need to go pack, I'll post pictures of the new place once I move in, February 1st. =)

Can I cut off my legs please?

2007-01-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

Yep thats right. Chop em right off, throw em in the trash. I'll cycle with my hands if I have too!

I went back to the gym today for the first time in forever. It was also the first time since I canceled WoW. And the first time I've done any actual real excersize since I started WoW. Needless to say I am sore. I feel like every bone in my body is crying and I just want to roll over and die.

Btw...

The workout lasted 10 minutes....

Thats right, 10 minutes on a cross trainer and I was ready to die.

I think my muscles started deteriorating, just slowly died away as they were not needed to play WoW. In 7 years I am predicting a mass influx of wheelchairs for WoW players, all 7 million+ will need them, since we do...nothing.

So what does this tell me?

That I am literally in the worst shape of my life. I have never, never been not able to do less than 30 minutes on thos machines. I could usually do an hour fine. So here I am, worst shape ever.

So what now? I mean, ouch, 10 minutes and I die?

Well for that motivation we will go to a picture of a good friend of mine...

Tom

Tom was wheelchair bound and on oxygen. Now he bikes regularly for a few hundred miles a week.

Here will be my motivation to get back into shape.

So I will post tomorrow, and let you all know how it went, how many minutes I did.

10 minutes...

sigh..

To Love Life, 2007 Commeth

2006-12-31T05:10:00.000-08:00

And so this year finally comes to an end. Goodbye 2006, a year of hard lessons, one that I think had made me, and many people grow wiser and one that has prepared us for 2007. A new year full of possibilities and new things to do, hold onto and create.

So what have I learned from 2006, what lessons has it taught me in life?

Number one, is never to take anything for granted. Joey and I went through a few scary momments with each other where I thought I could, might lose her to health issues and other things. Every time we bounced back and stayed together. Each time I realised how empty I feel without her and how thankfull I am for her. As well my mother, who is suffering from MS. I am thankful for her and have learned to not take for granted the everyday things I hold little value too. These two people have kept me grounded and aware of the little things life has to offer and that I should appreciate.

Number two is procrastination is the death of all of us. How often do we all use excuses like "after this show", "after this game," "Im just going to finish this first". One of the hardest things I have done in my life is admit to myself I was doing nothing with it, and admit it honestly.

Thirdly we have games. My struggle that I pray will be put behind me. Gaming is not wrong, it is an entertainment to keep us amused of course, and due to that it is not wrong. It is only when you begin cancelling commitments you have that it steps over the bounds of a entertainment to an addiction. Playing for 2 hours a night when you have nothing else to do is fine. When you are skiping school and work, avoiding friends to play and putting off homework to get that last piece of equipment is when it becomes an addiction. This would be the hardest lesson 2006 taught me, and one of the cruelest. A lesson well learned though.

New years resolutions I think always fail. We always have these huge expectations of what we want. Every year we put it down into writing and strive for it with all we are!

For about 2-3 weeks.

Than we are done with that.

I have many plans for this year, for 2007. I plan to make this a year to look back on and go "That was a golden year". The only resolution I have that I will put down in writting is this.

I will grab life by the horns and ride it for all its worth. I will experience life and taste its feast with all I am, and when 2008 comes, I will have a hundred stories of laughter and sadness perhaps to share. I will be able to look back on 2007 and say "That was a year I want to live over and over". For 2007, my resolution will be

To love life.

Where to begin

2006-12-28T22:56:00.000-08:00

I have come back to that which made me feel good about myself again. Christmas is a time of reflection, and one of looking back on things you have done, and trying to figure out where you went wrong.

Willpower is a funny thing, go to a speech and you can be motivated for a lifetime, a year, a month, a week, a day, or even no more than an hour. What do you do when the motivation runs out? You can continue to find new motivation of course, as much as you can. Eventually though, the same things keep motivating you and than you find that nothing can any longer.

I myself have an addictive personality when it comes to my time. I don't become addicted to chemicals, such as smoking, drugs or drinking. Time sinks seem to addict me though like nothing else can. Games are the perfect time sinks and those seem to be my weakness. The last entry in this blog was made at the same time that I started playing World of Warcraft.

World of Warcraft is a beautiful game, made from perfection as Blizzard is known for doing. It is also a time sink. I do not blame the game for any of my undoings, I myself did not have the willpower needed to juggle life and the game as many do.

So I come back to the crossroad. I have gained back the weight I lost, but am motivated to start again. Hopefully with this new sense of knowing of why my motivation failed I will not be motivated by the thought of being motivated any longer.

In the words of one of my favorite persons in the world

GIT-R-DONE

What a weekend

2006-08-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend was my brothers 19th's birthday. In Canada that means he is of legal age to drink, so we spent most of the weekend drinking. I overdid it and spent all of yesterday sick with the shakes ect. That is what I get for not drinking for so long, than drinking as much as I did in such a short period. So with that said the diet went to crap over the weekend. I am back to eating clean today.

Will be getting my bodyfat checked this Friday and will start meauring my progress that way. I start class in 2 weeks which will be fun. I have been getting up at 11am-12pm the last 3 weeks and will now start getting up at 7. I will update again later as I need to go get ready for work.

1 week

2006-08-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

Well today marks the 1st week of my diet, and I have to say I feel pretty good. I have more or less stuck too it (save 1 cheat meal of Alfredo pasta..mmmmm) and I am feeling damn proud of myself heh. Tommorow morning I start Cardio at the gym daily. I plan on doing that for a week before getting back into weightlifting so we will see what happens with that.

Came across an interesting article last night on BBC

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4793455.stm

There are now more overweight people across the world than hungry ones, according to experts.

He told the International Association of Agricultural Economists the number of overweight people had topped 1bn, compared with 800m undernourished.

Now this to me was really suprising. Who would have seen this one comming 20 years ago? Where the world hunger would be starting to be cured, only to be replaced by world obesity.

The author of the article than went on to suggest this

He said food prices could be used to manipulate people's diets and tilt them towards healthier options.

"For instance, if we charge money for every calorie of soft drink and fruit drink that was consumed, people would consume less of it. "If we subsidise fruit and vegetable production, people would consume more of it and we would have a healthier diet."

So his issue is that the food that makes us fat is always the cheapest.

So tonight, I am going to compare prices of a day of meals and see if he is correct. I personally think it is more laziness and people not wanting to take 30-45 minutes a day to cook food properly. I will post my results tommorow. :)

The path we choose

2006-08-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

One thing that needs to understood in this fight of weight that we find ourselves is this. What works for me, might not work for you, and probably will not. Yes, you can take some of what I do an apply it to your life, but in reality you are not me, and I am not you. Some people such as Tom decided to lose weight doing something he loved, cycling. Personally, due to Tom, I love cycling now as well, but that will not be the cornerstone of my weight loss. (Though it will be of my Cardio). Tom lost a ton of weight, doing something he loved, and it worked for him. As I went through a phase though where I researched bicycles, I found at least 10 failures for every Tom if not more. I count myself in that group, as I had to find something else. This is not to say what Tom did is wrong, on the contrary, he can serve as motivation to us all that it is possible.

Running is another example. I am the type of person who when he sees something, dives head in, immerses and learns everything he can about it before deciding whether it is right for him or not. In Running there are tons of success stories out there. People who went from 400 pounds, bedridden and on oxygen to running marathons. You can sit back and go wow, maybe this is for me, and than give it a shot. You will either succeed or fail.

The point of this, is if you try and copy someone else, you will not succeed. These people found something they loved and stuck with it. I choose weightlifting, or bodybuilding as some people call it. The reasons are numerous, to list the main ones though would probably be in this order.

1.) Health

If I train my body to work as a well oiled machine it will, and due to the mixture of Cardio/Weights I feel it will get there.

2 .) Looks

Now, call me shallow if you want, but the main reason the majority of us are changing now is because we want to look better. The defined bodies that come along with successful bodybuilders is something I want.

3.) The Gym

This is probably a major reason. I am lucky, that I actually love the gym, love weights, love the cardio machines. I love being surrounded by people who all have one goal in mind, to better themselves through hard work and determination.

I was asked in an email, Tyler, why do you want to look like those huge bodybuilders on stage.

To answer that, I never will. Those guys have been lifting for 10-20 years, and are much much more dedicated than I ever will be. My goal is not to have 25 inch arms and be ripped enough for a show. My goal is to be able to run to the corner without thinking I will die. To be able to take my shirt off at the beach and feel proud of what I did. To go into the gym, and know this is my second home. To get my goals, I choose weightlifting. My path might not be your path, but everyone has something. Beating this battle are three main things, mentality, diet and exercise. We need to find a variation of the three that works for us. It is never wrong to take someone else as motivation, but if you try what they did and fail, keep looking. You will fall in love with something out there that will help you reach your goals

My diet

2006-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Here is the diet I will be following for the next m0nth. This is about 600 Calories under maintenance calories. Add in the cardio and the weightloss and I will be significantly under maintenance. Just so you know, this will not be my life diet, but to lose weight I will do drastic things. I have stuck to this for about 3 days now, so we will see what happens. Loving it so far. :)

================================================== =======
7am

1 cup egg whites 26.5/1.8/.04 126
1 whole egg 11.1/2.2/12.2 166
20g of Cheese 4/.5/6 54.2
1 cup of oatmeal 15/81/6 300
Coffee (with milk and splenda)

646 Calories

56.5/90/25
================================================== =======

10am

Proteing Shake 23/2.1/1.7 112
2 Cup of milk 17/24/9.5 250

40/26.1/11.2

362

================================================== =======

1 pm

1 Can of Tuna 35.2/0/1.13 160.08
Pita Bread Whole Wheat 8.33/46.75/2.21 226

chopped onion
garlic
mustard
Red peppers
Lettuce

I didn't measure those things, as they are too miniscule.

43/47/3

386
================================================== =======
4pm

Pre-Workout

Proteing Shake 23/2.1/1.7 112
Banana 1.22/27.65/.5 108.56
2 cups of milk 17/24/9.5 250

41/53.1/11.7

418

================================================== =======

5:30pm

Post Workout

Protein Shake W/Water 23/2.1/1.7 112
1 Chicken breast 43/0/5 230
Cup of brown rice 5/44.7/1.75 216

66/44/3
558

================================================== =======

8:00pm

2 Chicken breast 86.8/0/10 462
1 Sweet Potatoe 2/32/0 139

88/32/10 601
================================================== =======

Total for the day

2971 Calories

334 g of Proteing
292 g of Carbs
63 g of Fat

Phase 2

2006-08-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

Well hello to everyone again. This is the second phase of my weightloss. The first was the go for it try, and obviously fail, we all knew it would happen, as it always does. For the final push I am going to do a mixture of what worked for me well in the past and what I love to do now. So what pushed me over the edge perhaps? What gave me the will to do this?

My supervisor Paul had a heart attack last week, scared the shit out of me. Paul is only 30, and already had a heart attack, the scary part was Paul leads the same lifestyle as me more or less.

So I am going back into bodybuilding, it was what helped me so much the first time, when I droped 75 pounds and went from size 48 pants to 38. I am going back to that with a mixture of cycling. I love weights, and the feeling of pushing my muscles more and more, so I am going back to that. This might not be for everyone, hopefully, If I succeed you can sit back and go "Well Tyler failed and came back and did it, I can too!"

So that is what this is going to come down to. Balls to the wall, no hype, no jumping for joy, I am sitting here looking at the path. I think I have come to the realisation, and the feeling that is it, It is not that I don’t want to be fat anymore, I am jus tired of it, and it is time to do something about it. People say quiting smoking is useless, unless you actually want to quit, unless the idea that smoking disgusts you, and to be honest, the idea of being fat disgusts me. So this is it.

I need a belt!

2006-07-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

Well, well, here I am this morning getting dressed for school, (6am is such a evil evil hour to have to wake up too) and as I am putting my pants on I notice something. I need a belt!
That is right, my pants are loose. They are able to breathe, my gut and the button on them are thanking me for making things less snug. No more will I have to worry about a button putting someones eye out when I bend over, no more will I have to worry about the crotch of them ripping, setting my face into a deep red as I run for cover. From this day forward I will be able to stand tall and not sucking my gut in...as my pants finally need a belt.

Now I will go looking for a belt, perhaps even a belt buckle. (Damn those country songs and there influence on me). So this weekend, I will go belt shopping and find a belt to hold my now loose pants up.

On another note, I am not sure if any of you have noticed but the blogsphere seems to slow down during the summer. I am too a victim of this, and why I made no promise to update daily, as I am sooooo busy with work, school, cycling, swimming, sleeping that the only time I get to blog is from work. Though, to be fair, I am not giving up on the weight loss. Actually as you can see from the columns above it is working out rather well again so far.

I found some old pictures of me, back from 2003. I was 150 pounds light than. At the time I remember thinking I was fat, now looking back I only wish I was that fat again. Either way, that picture is my motivation for the week.

Well, I am back to work now, I am back in class in the morning so time is really tight right now.

Anyone else have any summer activities they are doing this summer to loose weight?

Happy Canada Day!

2006-06-30T12:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Canadian day!

Happy Canada day!

Well, tomorrow is Canada day. So to all my fellow Canadians, HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Canada first began a 1867, a lil country to the North of our neighbors the US of A. Canadian to come

Here is Canada, we canucks like to think, rightly or wrongly a few things. Well, 4 things.

1.) Our Beer is the best (which it is)

2.) Our woman are the hottest (which they are)

3) Hockey is the only real sport in the world worth skipping work for (which it is)

4) We are the politest (Unless your hockey team beats us ( see number 3)

I was thinking of going to get my Canadian tattoo tomorrow, sort of like a right of passage for Canadians.
Or perhaps just Canadian students?
Do you guys think a maple leaf with "Made in Canada"?

Canada day will be spent a bit at work (time and a half baby!) and drinking, what will you guys be doing this weekend?

Either way guys, happy Canada Day, stay safe, don't drink and drive. Forget about the diet for a few days or two and just enjoy being Canadian for a weekend!

Tom is down 350 pounds!

2006-06-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

Congrats Tom!

My friend Tom who was featured on MSN's top blogs created a video showing his walk in pictures of his weight loss

Tom lost over 350 pounds through a combination of surgery, excersize, diet and willpower.

Here is a link to his blog that features the video.

Tom's Blog and Video

On a side not I want to say a big thank you to everyone who left comments. It was awsome to hear from you guys and know that people still come around. One big comment that hit home was from Taz there. She mentioned my trip to Europe should be a major motivation, and she is right. I really don't feel like paying for two airplane tickets. So starting tomorrow I will join the multitude of posting my daily diet on my blog with my posts. I usually tried to avoid this as I wanted my blog to be different but maybe you guys can see my diet and make some suggestions?

Thanks again for all the support guys.

Motivation comes from within

2006-06-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

Wow...its hot and humid

So Sunday and today Tuesday I biked too and from work. Last time I did this was 4 weeks ago, and it was relativelyeasy. A major difference is the temperature between now and four weeks ago. Four weeks ago it was about 16 Celsius(60.8F) this week it is 32 (89.6F). Now for some of you that might not be hot, but with the humidity it is about 40 (104F). So I am killing myself doing my 12 miles around 1pm in the day on the way to work. For those that don'tknow 1pm is the time of the day here when the sun is at its highest. So I am a crispy brown now (Or my eyes are so sunblinded the red looks brown.) Anyway, as tiring as it is, I am sure that eventually I will start getting that biker highagain, where I'm on cloud 9 for most of the day after the ride, and not on cloud pillow where I want to be after the ride today.

So in other news, now that biking has started again, I am also swimming. I'm not sure if I'm swimming because of the health benefits, or because it is soooo damn hot. So I am swimming daily, perhaps not for the right reasons, but still excersize. I plan to startthe couch to 5k program this week. Eventually, not totally sure when, but this week you will see a post where I started it.

I am guessing I should go to the gym soon and get weighed and perhaps touch base with my personal trainer. I am kinda leery aboutgetting on the scale, for the fear of gaining too much weight.

Well off to work

Oh..and Switzerland lost :(

2006-06-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

Good Day All! And Welcome back

Hello everyone

Well more than likely most of the regular readers no longer read, its been a while. Well simply put, I stopped. I quit working out and dieting. Alot of things changed, more than likely I just lost my motivation as happens from time to time. Or maybe the motivation was for the wrong reasons and therefore would just disappear at one point or another. I needed or still need to do some soul searching, maybe find what direction my life needs to go into. I have some goal of course, like we all do. University in 2007, Europe for Feb2007-August2007. These are major goals of course, my problem is how do I reach them? I have some idea, and am working on that, but nothing that motivates me. The problem with motivation is you really in the end need it to come from yourself. I can get motivation from Tom, from a few people I know that have lost weight, and some of you can get motivations from me. This obviously helps, but what happens when that motivation runs dry? If you don't have a will in yourself to change you won't.

So what have I done on my own so far?

I gave up gaming. I am at the point where I have the time to play games, yet I don't. This I think will change my life.

I won't make any promises of posting everyday. This time the motivation is coming from myself, the only one I can really get motivation from.

As a final note..

Go Switzerland!

2006-05-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Internet is back finally!

So after alot of trouble with blogger, than the internet, than blogger again I am back. Sooo much has happened in the last week and a bit, all of it good of course.

Firstly, just wanted to say thank you to those that dropped kind words to me and asked about me, it means alot o know people are still thinking about me. :)

So I got a new seat for the bike and have been commuting daily now since the day after my birthday. So far this week I have put in 90 miles.

So, in a little over 3 months I have gone from someone who got winded walking a block to the bus stop to someone biking over 23 miles a day. Much thanks goes to Tom, and everyone at BikeJournal and Bikeforums who put up with my endless questions on how to do this.

As a side to biking, besides the sore legs I am feeling awsome. My mood is always happy, I'm interacting with people alot more, excersize does wonders for people.

I have been working alot as well, going f40-50 hours a week. I have decided I want to go to Europe and backpack it before University, so that is a new goal of mine, which on the other side, will motivate my weight loss goals even more. I am hopefully going to be landing in London and starting my trek out from there. So over the next few months you should see some posts dedicated to that.

I got a new trainer at the gym, his name is Chris, so he will be training me from now on weights wise. I met some of his other clients first and they have all had amazing results so far. They all agreed on one thing though, that you need to put in a ton of effort to make it work, if you don't put the effort in, nothing will happen.

So I will be going back to my post a day starting today, thanks again everyone for putting up with me. :)

Anyone been to Europe lately? :D

2006-05-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Birthday day!!

Sooo today I turn 21. Just figured I would drop in and tell all you guys. I will be doing a follow up post tonight when the day is done. :)

2006-05-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

Bike seat from hell and hill torture

Sorry for the disappearing again, I have been soooo busy this week.

I guess Ill start it off last Friday. I went and picked up a bike from Walmart. 100$, comes with a 90 day warranty. I figured I'm a big enough guy, I will be using that warranty. Also picked up a helmet, water bottle/holder, a light, gloves and a lock. The accessories came to as much as the bike!

So 200$ later I take the bike home and there it sits all day Saturday. Sunday comes around and we do a little tinkering with the bike, fixing the seat height, tightening things, making it all fit.

So comes the big day Sunday...

Sunday I start to commute for the first time ever. 12 miles one way. I leave the house at 1:10pm heading to the gym which is a mile from my work. 1:30 comes around and I realize this stock seat from Walmart is hell. It takes me an hour and 20min to go the 11 miles to the gym, mostly due to the fact the seat was hurting so much. So as I am pedalling along in pain, I realize the second mistake I made.

I went along highbury ave, which in London is a pretty big road, it is also a hilly road. So here I am, first time on a bike in years, first time working out in a few weeks, huffing and puffing up a hill, on the verge of a heart attack, stroke and busting a lung open all at the same time.

And that was only halfway up the first hill.

After walking most of them ;) I Finally get a sort of flat road that takes me to the gym. I get to the gym, change, and start heading back towards work.

This is where I realize that nice flat road was actually a downhill grade road. So in the seat from hell than is trying to become one with my bowels, I push along that hill and finally make it to work around 3:20.

That was just the way there, the best was yet to come.

As I am pulling out after my shift, heading home, my seat becomes loose. It shifts up and down with my weight. On top of that the seat hurts already. I more or less walked the bike home, save for the downhills where I coasted down. It was a long long walk home. On the bright side, I found a old Road Bike that had been left out for trash, and walked that home.

Well that is enough for today, I commuted today too, but I will share that story later.

Thanks for all your support guys.

2006-05-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

Good Job Joey and Mrs.Stormcrowe

Congratulations to both my girlfriend Joey and Tom's wife Mrs.Stormcrowe. They both had surgery this past well and both came out fine, with both surgeries successful.

I know myself and Tom have been stressed to the max over this and are both relieved to have this behind us. You can visit Tom's site on the left bar of this page, and Joey reads my blog and posts under the alias JD. Again congratulations to both of you! :)

On another note, it turns out me and Joey will be going to England this upcoming August, or July. A family member of hers is being married and we are going for the wedding. So even more reason to lose the weight! Mostly so I do not need to pay for two seats. :P

On another note I finally went back to the gym after much prodding from loved ones. It was awsome! I was on the bus, half asleep thinking to myself what am I doing, I need to sleep not work out, I'm so tired. So I get there, change and jump on the cross trainer. After 40 minutes of sweating my ass off I was rejuvenated, got showered, shaved and felt like a new man!. So to anyone still stuck in a rut, just get out and do it, do it once and you will remember how good it felt. Anyone else come back from a rut and remember how much they missed it?

On another note, for all my friends from Bikejournak and Bikeforums

2006-05-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

Need Motivation? Lets go shopping!

I can hear the cringe of thousands of people who are overweight when I say two little words.

Clothes Shopping.

Since the beginning of time, or after someone ate an apple, we have needed clothes. We usually made them ourselves, with some skin from something and life was good. Than we progressed to making some clothes and buying some, mostly life was still good. Than we progressed to buying all our clothes, which is fine, but one size does not fit all.

And when you wear size 48 pants....few sizes fit you at all.

Clothes shopping when you are skinny or a regular size is fun. When you are huge its hell. I have 4 pairs of pants right now, all of them are ripping. There is not much I can do but wait. I have about 15-20 shirts, most of them are skin tight. I know, I know its my fault, but even when you are trying, until you get to size 34-38 life is hell. I can only imagine it is 10 times worse for my female counterparts.

Another problem I face is the cost of pants for me. As a big guy we use alot more fabric. The jeans you get at wallmart for 28$ cost us 80$ at the big and tall store. I'm not overly rich, a poor student, so you can see where this problem comes in. My mom use to have to spend a ton
of cash when she bought clothes when she was big. Ah the cost of being huge.

I hate clothes shopping though. The only store I feel comfortable in is the big and tall shop, anything else and you get stared at as you are going through. Shopping in a regular store is like window shopping. You see all these clothes you want, but you can't get.

I keep a pair of pants from size 38, 40, 42, 44, 46, and the ones I wear now. Like a timeline to my fatness. Hopefully as I lose weight I will be able to fit back into each pair. Such a bigger motivation that a measurement tape, to know that I truly am getting smaller.

Anyone else keep clothes like this to try and fit in after time, to see if they can?

2006-04-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

Thank You Stranger, You made my week

So a unknown stranger made my week yesterday. This person, who smelt of odd flowers sat beside me on the bus. A group of about 6 people jumped on the bus and this person sat down beside me. Sat down voluntarily beside me instead of standing up. They also did it without a look of disgust on there face.

Anyone who has ever been big and used the bus knows what I am talking about, nobody ever
sits beside you. They must think that obesity is contagious, or perhaps, more understandably,
They will feel crushed by me, or someone else taking up so much space. I wonder if that stranger had any idea they would be the topic of my entry today, and be seen by a thousand or more people.

Day in day out we ride the bus is silent agony, only wishing for human contact, or acceptance and never getting it. We sit and watch as the buss fills up, people sit beside one another till there are only a few spots left. The one beside the wino, the bums, the people who obviously have something wrong with them, and last but not least, the ones who are overweight.

It is a hard blow to ones self esteem when someone would rather stand on the bus than sit beside you. I must admit that I had become so use to it, that it more or less ceased to bug me. I am use to be stared at, that huge guy in the back who looks somewhat clean (again another rare trait among obese people, it seems that most of us left ourselves go.). So when this unknown stranger sat beside me it took me by suprise. Someone actually sat beside me. The little joys some people don't appreciate make the week of others.

So to my unknown angel, thank you for making my week by doing something that is so normal.

2006-04-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

25 Million Pages

Results 1 - 10 of about 253,000,000 for diet
Results 1 - 10 of about 617,000,000 for weight
Results 1 - 10 of about 265,000,000 for fat

How about this one?

Results 1 - 10 of about 29,900,000 for liposuction

Can we say we obsess enough?

253 million websites devoted to diet, another 30million just for liposuction.

How many of us can say we honestly thought about surgery like liposuction? I am talking to the ones who do not need it, but consider it anyway. *sees a lot of hands going up*. So why do we think that? Have we become so lazy in life that we are always looking for the quick fix?

results 1 - 10 of about 23,200,000 for diet pill.

23 million sites can be found on diet pills. This is a case of demand people, these sites would not exist if people were not actively looking for these things. One has to wonder though, why after countless times of people failing, and hearing stories of people failing, do we always go back to the quick fix. That magic pill that will turn us into airbrushed model god. These companies pray on us the most, the ones who fall off, time and time again. They sit there and sing there sweet chorus of "come to us, stop trying so hard, this is so easy."

Case in point, my grandfather, (we call him Bobba) is probably weighing in at 500 pounds. So he decided he wants to live better and goes off to herbal magic. ( A store that sells those magic pills.). What do they want in order to help him loose weight? 14000$ for one year. 14 grand for pills.

How much do I spend on weight loss right now?

40$/month for gym
300$ for a bike in a week.

That is it, yet people are willing to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to try and get a magic fix.

Your best bet? Work at it, get in shape, you will feel better about yourself. Than, when you reach your goal and you are fit, take those thousands of dollars and go on a vacation where you can show off the new you.

Taking pills does not make a lifestyle change, and what we need in order to win this battle is a lifestyle change.

2006-04-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

Work Politics and the damn chairs!

They don't make chairs for fat people thats for sure. I'm stuck in this damn chair my ass checks flopping out on either side I am sure. It a nice chair, a really nice chair, but I wonder if my boss is trying to give the floor a hint. After all, IT places are notorious for having individuals who are overweight. It is almost like my boss was in her secret dark dungeon (All bosses have one). While she was there, she was cooking up some evil scheme, than decided Ahah! I will make the floor loose weight through discomfort.

Thank, she called up Teppermans (a furniture store, teppermans means "we are evil") and had them deliver over 300 chairs that were two sizes two small. So here we are now, the only comfortable people at work are the ones who are skinny. All the fat people are too embarrassed to say "ugh..these chairs are too small for me".

Personally, I think if they just set up a gym in the building it would be more beneficial than a bunch of chairs that are two sizes too small.

2006-04-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Making time

So as you can see my posts are sporadic. I'm working quite a bit here. I'm putting in
70 hours this week and 70 hours next week, buying my bike on May5th. My diet has been good though so even though I haven't been able to excersize, my diet has been good, so I'm not gaining weight. Life is good.

I got an email form a lady today.

"Tyler, I wanted to tell you that you motivated me and my family to change. We have been working out and dieting for two months now. My husband has lost over a 100 pounds in 4 months, and is in the best shape I have ever seen him.I just wanted to say thank you to you and all the other bloggers who are keeping people motivated such as myself."

People like this inspire me, and keep me going. With working so much I do not have alot to write about, as I'm sure you do not want to sit here and hear about my life in a cube. Hopefully in a week when I have the bike I will have alot more to write about for you all.

On another note my back and shoulders are itchy as hell. I worked on our patio last week, shirtless, in the sun. Needless to say that little white gammer boy got burnt. The patio is looking awsome though, some more wood left to do which I will do soon. Was awsome to actually do something this summer, I was so embarrassed by my weight last summer that I did barely anything. Stayed inside on the computer and at work. Didn't even get a tan or a burn, so was a good feeling to actually get some skin damage. :)

Anyone else get a burn this year yet?

2006-04-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

Work Work and Time

How do you all find time to do the things you do. Ever sit and wish there
were 30 hours in a day? Ah that would be heaven.

Think about it, 30 hours.

8 hours to sleep
1 hour to get ready and go to work
8 hours to work.
1 hour to go to the gym
2 hours at the gym
1 hour to get to class
5 hours for class
4 hours for homework and freetime.

= 30 hours

Nice and free...
right now its more like

7 Hours to sleep
1 hour to get to class
5 hours for class
1 hour to get to the gym
2 hours at the gym
1 hour to get to work
6 hours at work
1 hour to get home

= 24 hours

Notice the less sleep, the less work and the no free time?

Yes, 30 hour days would be perfect, more time would make life so much easier.

2006-04-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

Through the darkness the light fades.

Well 3 week. 21 days. That is how long I have not been going to the gym I'm not sure exactly why. What I do know I gave up, and everyday I thought of getting back into it. Everyday I sat and said "today is the day I will start it back up". So what happened?

Excuses.

The dreaded get out of what you need to do card. Everyone has excuses, everyone loves to use them, some of us are so good at them we don't even think about it before we throw one out there. A quote I came across on some website said something like "The difference between success and failure is the number of excuses we make.".

Excuses are easy, convenient, guilt free. We can use the most simplest thing, and blow it up just enough that we can use it. That is the danger of excuses, the thing that threatens us so much. The only people keepingus from achieving what we want is us.

A few realizations dawned on me though.
The first being I don't know how I will be successful in engineering if I can't stick to something.
The second being it is summer, and I wish I looked good enough to wear the clothes I wanted.

The first really hit me hard though, I think I need to develop a self dicipline, no one walks out and gives you things in life that are worthwhile. To get where I want I need to earn it.

Thank you all for your emails and comments, I'm sorry if I let you down. I hope I won't again, but everyone falls, the important thing is I am getting back up.

2006-04-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a story

As those who have been reading my blog know, I am back in highschool at a continuing adult education center. At this center everyone has a story, of either failure or success, or both. One thing everyone shares in common is they are there working away at it now.

I am in law class on Wednesday and a freind of mine Scott is pretty upset. Apparently his old lady and him are going through a divorce and he might be loosing custody of the kid. So as we are sitting in law class the teacher mentions 3 assighmnets comming up. Scott hasnt been able to do them. About 30 minutes later, another friend of ours asks Scott if he has studied for the history test next class. Scott at this time almost starts balling. A girl beside us asks if hes ok, he answered no. Than she asks I though you wanted to do good this term.

Well, than Scott just loses it. He said something hit home pretty hard. "It is so hard to make something out of your life once you are down, everyone keeps pushing you and pushing you thinking they know what it is like, they have been where you are, and they havn't, not at all, they have no idea. "

This is just one of the many stories at my school, another would be my friend Rebecca.

Rebecca is 21 years old with two kids. Now, I know alot of sympathy from many people are gone right there. The thing is, Rebecca is trying, alot harder than most people. She is a single mother of two kids. The father is on welfare, so no childsupport. Rebecca is on welfare as well, but as she told me, only for the daycare they provide so she can go to school. Rebecca also holds a part time job. If anyone here has been on welfare, they deduct a dollar from your check for every dollar you earn here in Canada.

So Rebecca is earnign enough that her welfare check is 25$ a month. Here is a single mother of two, working instead of just taking the government money.

I guess the point of this post is to show that everyone has problems. As much as your problems are bad, and you think that you can't overcome them, people somewhere have them worse. Im not talking about other countries, Im talking about in your city, in your own neighborhood. Im sure if you sit there and think of whatever is affecting you, you can think of at least 4 or 5 people who would have issues or higher hills to climb. Just sit and think about it, and you can find someone who still had to reach the point you are even at. Has anyone here met someone in life who has inspired them? Or have you met someone who has made you think, I don't have it so bad, I can't give up.

2006-04-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

Handed it in!

The teacher took my essay today. 10 pages, 5200 words long. Was a huge relief getting that done, it was worth 15% of my overall mark. Tommorow I go back to the gym and the diet, getting back on track here. I liked what I saw from the first month, Im going to start taking it a day at a time from now on.

Going to wait the week to do the next weigh in, thinking I might not like the results.

I went to a monster truck rally last night here in London, it was awsome. I had a ton of fun. I got a bunch of pictures to post and I will try to do that tommorow. Sorry for another short post, I will make a longer one tommorow for you guys, got more homework again. Thank you all again for helping motivate me, its pushing me past points I never went to bedore.

Off to do homework than off to bed for some morning cardio tommorow. :)

2006-04-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

Halfway there!

Well yesterday I completed half the essay. I gave myself 30mins of playtime for every two hours I worked on the essay and that seemed to work really well. Im finishing the second half again today and I will be good to go. Thank you for all your encouragement yesterday guys, it really helps push me, I owe you all one.

Ill let ya know when Im done! :)

2006-03-31T14:03:00.000-08:00

So what do you do when you are falling off?

So I’m here, holding on to the wagon by my fingertips. I am slowly falling off, though I see shards of light through the darkness that usually encompasses failure. I passed another biggy for me, my courses. I had fallen behind in my classes at school. Usually when this happens, the last 2 semesters I have dropped the course. So here I am, getting ready to drop the course, and I decide than and there not too, and stayed in it.

That is the shard of light I see, I know I can still push it.

My diet has been suffering and my workouts have been non-existent. I would like to blame work, or maybe school, or both. I could blame stress, but I’m not stressed, save over failing. All I have to blame is gaming.

Computer games are more addictive than crack.

I have been averaging 6 hours of games the last 2 week. Counter Strike for those who wonder. See the problem with gaming it is an escape. I am good at Counter Strike, usually really good, I dominate every server I go into, I play matches and scrims, I’ve played on Cal Playoff teams and Cal-I, I love this game. The problem is, Counter Strike, or games in general are an escape.

I sit in real life and I worry about my weight, my future, and my relationships. I also worry about my mother’s health, my schooling and a ton of other things. I sit and worry about it, than I open up counter strike and the world disappears. For a few hours at a time, I am the best, no worries, nothing, I just sit there and I dominate, I am the best in the servers I go into, I beat everyone in matches, I am on top of the world. I have no worries, nothing save not to die.

This is the addiction of online gaming, the addiction that affects hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands and millions of young people, old people, and middle age around the world. When you game, nothing in the world matters save you and the game. Be it Counter Strike, WoW, Dungeons and Dragons, old school mud’s, or new school strategy, all that matters is you and what you are accomplishing at this moment in the game.

So here I am at a crossroads, stressed out of my mind due to life, on the brink of throwing it away again for a video game. I’m sure many of you might scoff at this, and not understand the allure of them, I’m also sure many of you read this and understand exactly what I am talking about.

I have not gone to the gym in a week, I have not been dieting and it is not because I couldn't. It is not because I didn't want too. It is because I chose to loose my body and mind to the world of strategy, of gaming, a soothing temptress to people who need to escape.

So what to do? Next week will decide what happens with me. This weekend even. I have a 12 page essay due on Monday. I am doing it on the UN Security Council and the inability of it to solver the present Middle East problems. This is due on Monday and is worth 30% of my overall mark. I have all day off on Saturday, so tomorrow will decide what happens. This next week will decide whether I stick with my weightless goals, or allow myself to be engulfed by the pure distraction given by gaming.

Wish me luck, I am working towards it, trying to break through this glass ceiling I tend to hit every time I try to change.

2006-03-29T13:03:00.001-08:00

Why try to be something that does not exist?

So today I stumbled across a odd site. We are going to talk about models and airbrushing. The models us man and woman idolize, the ones we try to look like. The one we think about before we eat a second helping, who are they really?

How many of you have seen Usher, and wished we had his 6 pack, or how many girls have gone by the local 7-eleven and saw the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and wished you have the body they do?

I am willing to be every single one of us, overweight or not has done this. We torture ourself day in and day out, wanting to look like these people. This is an awsome motivator, the problem happens though when we never achieve what it is we are trying too. We are never quite able to get to where we need to be, to be as perfect as them.

Here is an example of something some woman wish they could be, maybe even a little leaner.

Here we go, more or less perfect body. Something to strive for, perfect skin, perfect face. Overall absolutly beautifull.

Now!.....What did this girl look like before an artist got to her?

WHOA! do you see this difference? HOLLLLLY Crap! Now that is insane.

As you can see, what we are striving for is fake, we can never reach it because it does not exist. Yes, she still look absolutly beautifull, but beautifull in a way we could become. The picture above is beautifull in a way we will never be able to reach, because it does not exist. What we need to strive for is what we want to be, nothing less. Don't be discouraged because you cannot become the model in the magazine, none of us can, save by an artists brush in a photograph.

These pictures were taken from this site here

He has many many more exampled, I would go check it out if you can.

What do you guys think of this? Was it as shocking to you as it was to me?

2006-03-27T07:32:00.000-08:00

7 Pounds Down again!

Yep, so 7 pounds down. Another good week. I worked really hard right up until Thursday, than work took over and I didn't go back to the gym till today. I'm starting to have alot of trouble keeping to the diet. Protein powder, which was the staple of my diet has run out now. Not sure when I will be able to buy more, but thinking the next two weeks are going to be really hard on the diet without it.

I start the personal training up again tomorrow, depending how long you have all been reading my blog, the last time I did it, I died and quit doing it. I am hoping with being a little more in shape now; that I will be able to handle the pain Steve is going to inflict upon me. I am looking forward to being pushed again though, I know I can handle it. I understand the fact it will hurt, I won't be able to move, but I also understand the fact that it will make me better when all is said and done. No pain, no gain right?

For those still waiting to start loosing weight..One and one week since I started and I am two belt notches down. You start to see results that quickly.

So wish me luck with the no protein powder these next two weeks, and on the training. I am sure I will be posting here tomorrow moaning about the pain of it. :)

2006-03-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

Interview Saturday!!!

We have another Interview Saturday today.

Todays interview was done with Purl Princess whose blog you can visit here .

Purl has been a huge inspiration to me, and a huge help in my quest for a better me. Here are the questions I asked her for this interview.

1. Give us a little background info on yourself.

I'm 27, soon to be 28. 5'5". I love running, figure skating, knitting, reading, ballet and yoga. I have a cat named Marathon, a boyfriend whom I love, and I love to travel.

2. Your participate in weight watchers..how is that compared to other diets?

I think WW does work the best in the end. It's easy to follow, and is reasonable. Since I travel a lot for my job, and go out a lot for dinner, WW is the easiest to incorporate. It just doesn't make sense for me to eliminate all of my carbs for example. I also don't think I'm really a carb addict so that the balance of WW works the best for me. I also believe WW to be the best because it trains you to have healthy eating habits, which should really be the ultimate goal.

3. What all diets have you tried?

I haven't tried many - South Beach, a brief stint on the Sonoma Diet, but I quickly gave up on them. The reason being they are too difficult to follow and aren't easy to adapt to my life.

4. Why did you fail on them?

See above.

5. What was your highest ever weight?

I really don't know - somewhere above 150 lbs. I stopped weighing myself at that point. I went on a diet and didn't weight myself for a month, by then I had dropped below 150 - I know I lost A LOT in that first month though. I figured it was better not to know how high I had gotten.

6. Your current weight?

140 ish

7. Ever have trouble sticking with it?

Of course - who doesn't?

8. What motivated you to push further?

I motivate myself. There is no one else that I am doing this for other than me. When I don't eat right or miss a work out the only one I am letting down is me.

9. Compared to males, females have much more pressure on looking fit. It seems everywhere you look, you see girls in size 2 on the TV, billboards or in videos. How do you respond to this?

I think it's all crap. I used to get worked up about skinny models and actresses but I've accepted that it's all completely fake. Those magazines are all airbrushed, and those women aren't real. And besides for a model/actress - it's their JOB to look that way - if I had a private trainer, gym, cook, stylist and all the money in the world then I could look like that too.

10. Who has inspired you the most?

I find athletes and regular women are the ones that I want to emulate. I have no desire to be a size 0 twig with no strength. I want to look strong and athletic more than anything.

11. Favorite book?

You may as well ask a mother to choose which of her children she loves the most...
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Harry Potter 1-6 - JK Rowling
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
I could go on but I won't.

12. Give us your favorite diet meal?

Um... just one? I honestly don't know if I can answer this question. I love to cook and am always trying new things. I love the Moosewood cookbooks, and the Rebar Vegetarian cookbook is incredible. I am a vegetarian so most of what I make consists of pasta, veggies and tofu. I love avocados, edamame, anything with lemon or capers... I wish I had a more specific answer...

13. Give us an example of something that set you back.

When I was training for my first marathon in 2004 I hurt my knee while running. As a result I couldn't really run for a while which was hard. A month before the race I discovered a possible stress fracture in my foot and couldn't finish my training. On the day of the race I was nearly ready to cry I was so scared, I had never run more than 24 km - how was I going to do 42 km?

14. How did you overcome it?

I just went for it. I reasoned with myself that I could try and run, and I could always stop if it became too much. I didn't struggle much until the halfway mark, and at 25 km I was starting to die a little. But I had a great running partner and we just kept going... suddenly there was only 14 km left to go and I told myself that yes I could do another 14 km - I was going to finish. And finish we did - I couldn't walk for three days after, but I did it.

15. What was the tipping point, the moment that made you say "I need to change"?

The first time I went on a diet I was about 22. I had been in University for 1.5 years and had put on a lot of weight. I wasn't exercising (I had been a competitive figure skater until I started University), and was eating poorly. I was starting to gain and was growing in clothing sizes. One day I was trying on a skirt at the mall and realized I needed a third size bigger than where I had been a year and a half ago. That mortified me. So I went on WW, went back to the gym and lost the weight. I kept it off until about a year and a half ago. I got a new job and moved to a new city. The new job involved lots of travel, eating in hotels and nice restaurants. Before I knew it I had gained 20 lbs. again. I lost about 10 of those at the end of 2005. I'm now working on the next 10.

16. What is your reason now, what is the main goal you want to achieve?

I want to be what I know I can be. I hate my stomach - it's my least favorite body part. I would love to look at my stomach and think - hey that's not so bad. Otherwise, it's not that I'm desperate to lose a lot more weight, I just want to be toned, fit and healthy looking. That's my goal right now, and for the rest of my life.

17. Do you agree with the theory that most woman fail at diets because they attempt to look like magazine models?

I think most women fail on diets because they expect an instant fix. Losing weight, especially if you have a lot to lose, takes a very long time, and a lot of hard work. If you can't accept that before you start trying then you aren't going to stick with it. You have to accept that you could do everything right one week and not show a loss. You have to accept that as long as you keep doing the right things, you will be rewarded.

18. Favorite quote?

"Books are the purest essence of the human soul."

19. Finally, what would you say to everyone out there trying to loose weight right now?

We have to accept that models, movies and TV aren't real. We aren't going to look like that no matter what. The weight isn't going to come off in a day, it's a long arduous process and we must accept that before we begin. I also think it's okay to take a break from dieting once in a while, and just be "normal". It becomes exhausting to count every morsel that goes into your mouth.

2006-03-24T18:59:00.000-08:00

New Milestone!

I hit a new milestone today. After a month ago where my legs became tired from walking two blocks to the bus stop, I managed to run fully around the block today. I know to alot of people that might not seem like alot..but I could barely run more than a few sidewalks squares a month ago without gasping for breath.

I know alot of you who weigh alot are waiting to start running...

Don't!

Start running now, it will only get easier, it is awsome for your cardio, awsome for your endurance, burns a ton of calories. For those of you looking to start from the very there is a program at Cool Running

The program is called the couch to 5k. Given to me from Tiff over at bikejournal

I have been using this for 2 weeks now and it is awsome. Anyone should be able to do this. Give it a shot, the program starts out really easy, so you can get use to the movement of running.

Has anyone used this before?

Or who here runs and would like to share some of the benefits they have found from it. :)

2006-03-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

Sooo, who wants to Volunteer overseas?

Yep..thats right. I'm going to Brazil or China to volunteer, teach English. I am planning this for early next year. The trip will be for 3 months, or 12 weeks. The company I will be going through is called http://www.crossculturalsolutions.org . Total cost for the trip not including airfare, spending money, visa application will be $4,996 US . I will be doing fundraising through another blog I will be setting up. All donations will be to the company itself , which will issue tax receipts for any and all donations.

This is a description of things I will be doing over there.

In Brazil, volunteers can help to care for infants and children, teach children, teach English, assist teachers, work towards women’s empowerment, share their professional skills/experience, care for the elderly, observe and assist local medical professionals, care for people with disabilities, work with people affected by HIV/AIDS, and assist teachers of special education.

I will be going for either teaching English, assisting teachers, or helping to build homes.

I will be making a new blog as I said for fundraising to work towards reaching this goal. The date I will be going for is Jan 14th 2007, or February 14th 2007.

Anyone have any experience with going to teach english overseas? What should I expect/be ready for?

New motivation to hit my goal sooner :)

2006-03-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

One foot in front of the other...

Sorry about the no post yesterday everyone. I had a lot of stuff going on with school, and the gym. I also had a lot of heartache yesterday with someone special to me. This is life I suppose, and I feel like its the universe testing me, to see what I will do. It seems every time you get everything together, the universe throws a wrench in the engine to see what will happen. Well that wrench came for me yesterday and continues on to today. I’m skipping the gym today, feel absolutely no enthusiasm to go. Hopefully I will be over this soon, maybe I need to go to the gym to release the stress, who knows. Sorry for the depressing post guys, but, I want to keep track of my life here, and the things I overcame, and hopefully, this will be one of those things.

Ill leave a song, perhaps to the girl, or maybe for you guys, or maybe it just hit me hard

Artist: Glass Tiger
Song: Where Did Our Love Go

Silence I call your name
Facing another long lonely day
A feeling longing for you
In my heart
Darkness becomes so real
Nothing can change
The way that I feel
Love goes only to those
Who believe
But where did our love go?
Close as a heartbeat
But you'll never know
Where did our love go wrong?
Silence I see your face
Shadows have come
And taken your place
I feel your hurting
Like me in your heart
Holding you closer
Then letting it go

2006-03-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

When the going gets tough. The tough get...

Depending how you finish that sentence, you can really tell you either
a) Know sayings and cliches too well
b) are not motivated enough or
c) are focused on your goals.

Most people finish that with the tough get going. I personally finish with the tough bend there head down and rush right into the thick of things. Working out is hard work, for anyone. Especially it is hard if you are out of shape or overweight. Nothing says pain like trying to get on a cardio machine and having to punish your already tired body to the max right after a hard workout.

So here you are.. sweating.. muscles are sore, on the verge of just dropping..

What do you do?

Do you go home? Hit the showers, admit defeat...

If not. What keeps you going, what do you think of?

Your true goal is whatever you think of at that moment. When your body is about to give out, when you want to go home and hit the showers. At that momment something pops into your head that make you push on. For some it could be a new outfit, a new bikini you have been looking for. For others maybe you just want to stop being stared at, or maybeto look good enough to hit on that girl/guy you like. Still for others it could be athletic goals, to hit the next mile, swim the next lap and climb the next mountain. Everyone needs that one thing they can think of to pull there bodies past there comfort zone. To push to the point where you are changing and becoming healthier. Mine is to become someone who isn't stared at. Who can ride amusement park rides and shop in regular stores. Someone who does not have to worry every time I sit into a chair if it will fit. Mine is to become different and become normal and lead a normal life. A life that is carefree of weight issues.

Another thing that can help all of us is the motivation from our peers. Aside from my goals that keep my going that I listed above, this blog is a major one. This blog is the hand on my back, pushing all the time. I know I have need to come here daily and lay bare for you what I did today. If I failed or succeeded. I want to make sure I succeeded so that I can be proud of it, so I can share it with you.

What is your motivation? What pushes you? Comment with what goes through your head at that moment where your body wants to give up. With what keeps you going from than on. Maybe we can all share and find some new things to strive for.

2006-03-20T15:17:00.000-08:00

10 Pounds Down!

Yep, you read it right. 10 pounds zapped away, bam boom gone seeeee ya!. So after last weeks 2 pound + hiccup I am down 23 pounds in the first month.

So what have I accomplished in the first month?

Increased from 1mile bike to 20 miles in one sitting
Increased Cardio from 10 minutes to 40 minutes
Finished a cycle of stairs. A cycle of stairs is a staircase we have that is 25 stairs high at the gym Run up and down 6 times, 1minute rest, 5 times, 1 minute rest. Continue this until you run up it one time to finish. At start I could only do half of the first 6, a total of 75 stairs. I am now at the full cycle, a total of 525 stairs.
Go do cardio instead of the showers after finishing the stairs
Cut coffee out of my diet
Cut aspartame mostly out of my diet
1 months of only having fried foods 3 times
Cut chips out of my diet
Fit into an old pair of pants
Able to stay awake through the entire day, before starting to work out I was falling asleep around 1:30pm-2:30 pm. Now I stay up right to midnight.
Lost my depression I had
As a side of the lost depression, I am constantly in a better mood
Gained a ton of friends after leaving the computer
Gained a ton of friends from blogging on the computer...contradictory I know
Cut all juice/beer out of my diet
Found a new love for physical activity, I now love going to gym, look forward to it
Found a new high that food does not give, the cycling/running high
Increased my strength by 30% on the weight (this isn’t typical though, I use to life weights all the time, apparently this is caused my muscle memory)
#1 reason. I feel good about myself, that I am finally tackling my life, getting back to what I love, making friends again, and living life again. I might have only lost 23 pounds, but I still have another 180 to go.

I want to thank all of you so far, everyday I come back to read a ton of comments and they keep me going. I know I need to make a post or I will hear from you guys through emails, again thank you, you guys keep me going.

2006-03-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

Oh Wow..You look sooooo hot with makeup sweating off your face!

Yep, this is going to be a gym rant. At the gym I go to, we have all female section, and a co-ed section. I assume this is for girls do not get gawked at. This is a good idea, I can understand not wanting to be stared at (See my post Please stop starring). Now, in theory, this works, in practice though..oh boy...

My friend likes to use the term "gym hoes". I assume after the phrase "Bar hoes". These girls have a list of things they do.

* Wear full makeup, like they were going to the bar.
* Do there hair for the gym
* Wear tight fitting spandex, and see through shirts
* Do the stair master in front of all the other cardio machines
* Use the pink weights
* Either do not break a sweat...or sweat so much there makeup drips off.
* Tend to hangout in the cardio area, or the free weights are (where all the built guys are), this is also where they tend to use the pink weights they swiped from the cardio room.
* Wear two piece bikini's and swim in the pool, which is in full view of everyone in the gym..but they do not swim, they splash around and wade.

There are many more, and I am sure you could all add a few to the list. The thing that really gets me, is why do they think they are attractive with makeup good dripping off there face as they work on it super bright ugly as sin pink florescent spandex.

So my question to all you girls who visit my blog here.....

Do you do this?
Do you know why people do this?

My friend Mjet, who is also my blogexplosion renter this week (go click on the lil box right under my profile, she is funny as hell and has a funny entry about odd inventions today, it opens in a new window ) informed me that she wears makeup to the gym, but not a lot, and it is because she is coming from work. That is understandable, but why not wipe it off?

Soooo do you guys do this? Do you know people who do this? Why do people do this?

2006-03-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

Saturday Interview day!

Well, I decided to do something new for Saturdays. Every Saturday I will have an interview with someone different. The people will be ones who have lost weight, are loosing weight, or going to loose weight.

This weeks interview is with Tom. His link has been on the side for a while, and I feel it is only fair, and I am honored to have him do my first Saturday Interview. Tom has lost a little over 300 pounds and has gone from wheelchair bound a year ago to riding 10-15miles a day today.

Here are the questions I asked of Tom

Tell us a little bit about your background:
Prior career, professional driver. I've driven everything from a taxi to a stretch limo to a tractor trailer. Before I took up trucking, i was heavily into cycling.

Current weight:
249

Peak weight:
581

What would you say was the turning point?
That would be when I realized I was going to die if I didn't do something about it. I had had my third heart attack, had open nonhealing wounds on my legs, was in congestive heart failure as well as being on insulin for diabetes and oxygen to support my blood oxy saturation. I had an O2 sat lower than many corpses, arterial saturation without oxygen was at 68%. My weight problem, however is from a physiological cause. My pituitary is not completely functional due to a condition called Empty Sella Syndrome. I don't produce all the hormones I am supposed to and have to supplement them artificially.

What has been your most embarassing momment dur to your weight?
When I fell through a hardwood floor, and it required 8 firemen to lift me into the ambulance. I'm not kidding!

Any life restrictions due to your weight?
I was shackled to technology to stay alive, on oxygen @ 7 lpm, stuck in a wheelchair because I couldn't stand up for more than a couple of minutes, couldn't walk more than 50 feet without crushing chest pain, If I wasn't Catholic and it being a mortal sin, I think I would have said enough was enough then!

What is your goal weight:
200 pounds or a bit less

Why did you decide to loose weight?
Should be self explanatory, life was so bad it wasn't worth living. I gambled with the Bariatric Surgery because I was a pretty poor risk, but what was I really risking, a life in hell on earth?

Who was your biggest motivator?
The Grim Reaper......I met him, he's not a very pleasant feller!

Why do diet fads always end in Failure?
Because there aren't any short term fixes to a weight problem. Either you are willing to modify your lifestyle and diet to reflect a healthy one or you aren't. Sometimes it requires extreme choices on your part, but in the long run it is worth it!

Why do most people fail at weight loss?
Well, it's a combination of factors. Discouragement, the people around you unknowingly sabotaging your efforts, an inability to cope with the changes in your life, for yourself AND the people around you. When you start really changing, the people around you start worrying they'll be left behind. In addition, we are so often at such a point that what we eat is the only real control we have over our own lives, so we indulge that freedom. In other cases, we eat for comfort. Food is a drug. Eating stimulates endorphins and it makes you feel better, it modifies our seratonin balance, as well, so we feel better if we have problems with too rapid an uptake of seratonin and the nutrients slow it up for us. Depressed people often use food for comfort, then feel guilty then eat to feel better, then feel guilty..........it's called a negative feedback cycle and can indicate an eating disorder Elements of compulsion can factor in. Often, in these cases, psychological intervention is required as well as medical. Weight control really needs to be addressed with a multidisciplinary approach. Cognitive-behavioral approaches seem to work best, with plenty of emotional support as well as a bit of guidance in nutrition. The surgery route really needs to be looked at as a last ditch effort. There are other factors as well, but if I get into them, I promise your readers eyes will glaze over and roll up into the back of their heads because I'm already getting pretty technical. Essentially weight problems are a serious medical, and possibly psychological issue.

Give us one of your most favorite dishes!
Skinless Chicken Breast, broiled, with Lemon Pepper, basted with a tiny bit of olive oil and oregano, with steamed spinach leaves as the vege, a bit of Cottage cheese, and a glass of 1% milk.

What have you gotten back since loosing the weight?
My entire life! I am currently enrolled in College, going after my RN License. I am thinking of going on after my license to get a PhD in Psychology. I want to work in the field of eating disorders. Iy fascinates me and I truly think I have something to offer. I have also gotten back my cyclig! I have gone in the space of a year from a wheelchair to an actively touring cyclist. My first tour in 20+ years had to be cut short due to weather, but I still rode 106 miles in two days on a heavily loaded bike! A year ago, if anyone had told me exactly one year after the surgery that I would be doing that, I would have laughed at them! Cycling has been a godsend to me, as I could exercise without destroying my knees. I also love doing it and it has really helped me by allowing me to accomplish measurable progress physically. I could see myself getting stronger. I am now off ALL of my medications and only use oxygen at night. I still have sleep apnea. Here is a link, by the way, to my first tour writeup over March 11-12.

Do you have a favorite quote:
Who dares, wins all! (British Special Forces: SAS Motto)

What would you say to everyone else trying to lose weight right now?

Do it! It requires a commitment to changing your life! There are no easy fixes or shortcuts that won't adversely affect your health, so make the necessary changes! Up the exercise, eat healthier and stay away from JUNK! If you feed your body junk, that's what you'll get.....a junk body! Change is possible and it won't come from anywhere or anyone else but you! Seek out support, make a realistic plan and set small goals, and work from goal to goal, each leading to the next. If you look at the wehole problem, you'll get lost and shoot yourself in the foot. Remember, if you decide you can't, that will be an accurate prediction! It's called a self fulfilling prophecy! If you decide you CAN, then the sky is the limit! As my favorite quote goes..."Who dares, wins all!" Go for it!

You can visit Tom over at his blog here.

2006-03-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

You are what you eat!

So, you push back from the table, shirt on the verge of popping every button it has. You stand up, and...What’s next?

For most people, you go to sleep, lie around on the couch, or maybe go take onto the computer. The people who do this are the same ones who say they do not have time to do any physical activity. I am sure most of us are in this boat, we eat heavy, fattening foods, and we become heavy, fat people. You are what you eat!

Now, this is what a lot of us did before we changed, and began to care. We ate and ate and than ate some more. This can sometimes be fine, I now eat and eat and eat some more but only every 2 hours. The major difference is I am eating salad, protein shakes, tuna wraps, chicken and rice or fish and rice. Food that will keep the hunger down, the energy up, and the motivation going. Not only that, all my meals are 200-300 calories. Any of you who saw my grocery thread a week or two ago will remember my comments regarding the grocery store. That the grocery store is where you will make or break your goals.

I want to sort of reiterate that today. The foods you choose every week, will decide whether you stick to your diet, or you fail. This is the bottom line, plain and simple.

"What about the temptation to eat out Tyler?" people ask.

This can be a big one, and this is where your will power comes in. I personally suck at willpower, so I stopped bringing money with me. For some that is not an option, so stick to really light salads, wraps, pick subway over BK. Diet coke or coke. These are all the obvious ones, but the ones people really falter on. One treat can and usually does turn into 2,3,4,5 and 6 treats. This roller coasters and before you know it, you fell off the wagon and are back at square one.

To make all your meals for the day (6 small ones, 200-300 calories each) should only take anywhere from 10-40 minutes a day. They are small enough to lug around with you (usually fitting in one grocery bag) and you can eat them at the office.

The feeling I mentioned before, you should only feel once, maybe twice a week. The rest of the time you should be energetic, ready to go. If you don't feel energetic off 6 small meals a day, your diet might need some adjusting. As I said a while ago, I gave up coffee after switching to 6 small light meals a day; I just didn't need it anymore.

For those falling off the bandwagon, the diet is the easiest part you can get back on, you buy your own groceries, and you decide what you put in your mouth.

If anyone has any recipes they want to share, email them to me, or leave them here in a comment and I will post them all later.

2006-03-16T12:24:00.000-08:00

Please, don't stare at me, I’m trying to change

I am sure all of us who diet can relate to this feeling. You are going about your business, working, walking to school, walking to the gym, grocery shopping, and every few minutes you catch someone staring at you out of the corner of there eye. You see this, and you stop, and it hits hard, it hits hard that people look at you like you are so different. I am guilty of this, so are a lot of people, and I feel bad for it. People avoid you like obesity is some disease, no one sits near you on the bus, conversations strangers have stop when you are around, as they stare. I am a big guy, I know that, but there are people who are a lot bigger than me, and for all the staring I get, I know they have it worse. No matter how much I try, how much I workout, how much I want to change, I still feel guilty for eating in public, like someone somewhere is looking at me going "that’s why you are fat".

This can happen when you are eating a salad from a restaurant, people just sit there and stare at you. I almost want to jump up and scream at them, and ask them what are they staring at, do they not care that I am trying to change? That I am trying to turn into something different, something that will not be stared at?

It can also be a good motivator, you will not eat junk food in public, because you know people will look down on you, look at you with disgust, and think to themselves smugly "I got that person all figured out, they are fat because they eat so much".

I made this mistake, a friend of mine from the gym I saw him at McDonalds, so I went over to him. I said to him, thinking I was helping, "man, .this isn’t helping your diet". He looked at me, saddened obviously, and said "This is my cheat meal for the last two weeks, I love McDonalds, but I hate coming here and eating, I've lost a hundred pounds but this is nothing to these people".

I sat down with him, and ordered a cheeseburger, friends indulging together. We had an awesome conversation, and I had my cheat meal of the week. People stared, but we both knew inside that we were trying to change, trying to become something bigger. We were trying to be there for our children one day, for our grandchildren. We were working towards riding a century with the cycle club, or maybe we were just working, because we were tired of not being able to do the things we wanted. We left the McDonalds together, and walked the hour home, more than likely burning off most of the food we had just consumed.

Next time you stare, think to yourself, this person might be trying to change, they might just be enjoying a well earned cheat meal, or maybe they fell off the bandwagon as we all do from time to time.

Hopefully, one day, people will stop staring.

2006-03-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

Sickness and the such

Well...I blame all you guys :p. Seems all the bloggers have been getting sick lately, than bam, out of nowhere I'm sick. So I am thinking you guys are to blame :p

I forget who posted about people going to work while sick, well I am one of those people. I am at work right now, coughing and sneezing in another room, sick as a dog, but, money is money and I need to buy my new bike this year, so here I am. Looking to buy a Kona Hoss within the new two months, so saving up for that.
This will be my new beauty in about two months. Comes in at about 1300$ for it after everything else I want to add, so saving up for this.

On another note, this is day #2 I have stuck to the diet. No gym today though because Im sick. I know working through the sickness is the way to go, but ugh..I feel like crap..lower than crap..worm crap.

So I am going to go work now, and try to go home early and sleep. So a warning to all..when you come by a blog where someone is sick...get ready...its comming for you next!

Anyone have any cold remedies they want to share?

2006-03-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

Comments? You can comment now!

Well, here we are today. Yesterday I stuck to my diet the entire day. as well I also managed to go to the gym. On my way to the gym again today.

Wanted to say quickly thank you to Loosing Me over at her blog here . She tiped me off that comments were moderated which is why the comments never show up on the site. So you guys can comment now :)

Off to the gym, catch you all later.

Ciao for now

2006-03-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Two Pounds Up :(

Well that was a bad week. Only worked out Tues, Wednesday. Messed up my diet all week, and I paid for it today on the scales. Gained 2 pounds *sigh*. Nothing like killing my motivation by taking a step backwards. Im determined to do it properly this week though, going to stick to the diet and do the cardio and see what happens. I've read a lot of diet blogs lately, and notice one common theme between them. Those that have achieved the goals they set, those ones always bounce back when they fall down. Those that do not achieve there goals, they stay down when they go down.

So heres to a new week! I will be doing one hour cardio at least per day, sticking to my diet all week!

Another thing, saw this on another blog, so going to post it here.

The secret to dieting....

Is to make this...

Taste as good as this

2006-03-11T16:43:00.000-08:00

Carb Lies and Why People Fail with them

So, over the last two years, the only diets I have tried are the low carb diets. As was predictable, I failed on every diet. The reason for it? I gave up carbs, all of them.
The problem with this is that you need carbs. A big reason being that carbs make you full. If you really think about the fficiency of this diet,the guy who invented the low carb diet..died obese. Obviously, if the guy who made this diet cannot follow it, why would you be able too?

The only carb restrictions I put myself on, are non-processed carbs. I also limit most of my carbs to pre-workout, post-workout. Now this is not a low carb diet. A low carb diet would be under 20grams/carbs a day. I consume roughly, 120-150 grams of carbs every day. From extensive reading on the subject of dieting, and from my own experiences, I have found that carbs are not bad for you..but are needed to be successful in any diet program.

With carbs, you have good carbs as well as bad carbs. To put it plainly and simple, too many bad carbs and your bodies metabolism becomes slower as well they are harder to process. With good carbs, the metabolism stays the same or increases also they are easier to process. There is alot more science behind it, but that is the jest of it all nicely summarized.

So what are some good carbs Tyler?

To put it plainly, good carbs are not processed, and contain a fair amount of fiber. For example; whole grain bread, oatmeal and whole-grain cereals, legumes, veggies, fruits.

What are bad carbs Tyler?

To put this plainly, bad carbs are processed. For example: white bread, white pasta, soda, sugary foods, including ice cream.

I have mostly switched out of any processed foods, I still splurge here and there, but they are mostly all gone. Also there is a major...majoooooor reason you want high fiber foods. Fiber fills you up. 2 pieces of whole wheat bread with fiber, while not only healthier, will also fill you up better.

The major problem with low carb diets, is you have no energy. None, zip, nada. You sit there all tired for a week, dragging around, feeling like crap, wondering why dieting is so hard. What happens next?

They quit, they give up, because they are always hungry, always tired, and miserable. As I said, there is a reason the creator of this diet died obese.

So why are carbs good? (only the good carbs mind you)

* They fill you up
* They give you energy to work out
* They keep you energetic throughout the day
* They help you stick to eating healthy, since you do not feel as if you are punishing yourself
* They provide alot of nutrients your body needs, therefore making you healthier.

Those are just a few of the reasons, but the main ones. If you want to lose weight, you need to understand that you need to be healthy as well. Loosing a 100 pounds, but still being out of breath running up the stairs, or having your body always sick because you did not consume enough nutrients is not any good. Loosing a hundred pounds, being able to play with your kids, and being healthy, that is what you want to do.

2006-03-10T17:51:00.000-08:00

Binging and bulimia

Well that sucked

Don't know why I am posting this, but this is suppose to be jorunal. So today I did something dispicable, something I have given alot of friends shit for. I threw up on purpose after spluring on poutine. I ate a large poutine at work, and went to sit down...I felt so guilty I went to the washroom, stuck my finger down my throat and threw it all back up. I am ashamed of this, but also glad I did, at least most of the calories are gone from the poutine. I still feel full though and think there might still be some left...its tempting to go finish and make sure its all gone. I feel disgusted with myself, with binging like I did, for doing what I did as a result, just disgusting in general. It was my fault today for not packing a lunch. Im not sure if I feel sick from throwing up, or from the fries that are still in there. I honestly feel sick as a dog right now *sigh* Im going to make sure I wake up in time to pack food, I really dont want to fall into the trap for splurging than making myself throw up.

2006-03-10T15:02:00.000-08:00

Quiting Smoking

I myself have never smoked, perhaps for those that do and want to quit this will help. As I know somewhat about addicitions (food, gamming) I know every ounce of motivation helps. :)

Btw this was stolen from this blog
http://www.awfulsouls.com/blog/

1. The nervpain will be less obvious and easier to handle.
At least when I’m totally free from the nicotine. But the rest of the chemicals that can be found in tobacco will have an effect on the nervous system, so just to get rid of those to a start will make a difference.
2. My pancrea will most likely get a better chance to heal.
For the same reason as above. Smoking has a stressful effect on the pancrea as well.
3. Less heartburn.
Smoking creates more acid in the stomach and I really do have enough of that as I have.
4. My taste buds will go back to what is normal for any non-smoker.
This will take some exercise, otherwise I will end up gaining a lot of weight. The last time when I managed to stay away from smoking this way I gained nearly 20 lbs, which was darn difficult to get rid of. And it was all because food tasted so damn good….heh
5. That goes for the sense of smell as well.
This is a good thing as long as there are no smokers around me. I know for a fact that I can be a real pain when I feel the smell of smoke, and it has to do with an increased sense of smell.
6. My apetite will increase.
See above…heh This however has to do with a lot of things, not just that food taste and smell better, but also that my body is going back to a natural stage of being healthy and can absorb the good things in food in a better way.
7. I can actually sing when I’m not smoking.
Yawp, I can. When I first found out it surprised me since I had no idea that I had a good singing voice at a grown up age. That will improve after about a month.
8. Even though I’ve been told that the oxygen level in my blood is excellent, it will improve and I will have more energy.
This means that Robin will lose weight because I will chase him around like crazy….lol
9. I won’t smell like an old ashtray anymore.
Just facts.
10. I will save about £4 a week (roughly $7 a week).
Which isn’t a lot of money, but it’ll pile up in the end
11. I don’t have to care about smoking and non smoking areas.
This is something that most smokers are aware of most of the time no matter where we go. And with the smoking ban here in the UK in summer 2007, it will get even more complicated than it is today.
12. I will have a freedom that smoking takes away.
Not sure if this will make much sense…but after being a smoker for 32 years, don’t take for granted that it’s a choice anymore. To me it’s like being a prisoner in a body that’ll crave a poison that it’s gotten use to. It doesn’t mean that it is a pleasure anymore.
13. The risk of developing cancer again will be smaller.
Knock on wood. I’m aware of that my own mom was full of cancer without smoking as much as a cig during her entire life, but I do believe that it won’t hurt not to smoke either. And I sure don’t have to push those limits more than I already have. Having cancer once was more than enough.

My brother is going through quitting smoking at the momment, so I can see how hard it is on some people. So goodluck to all those that are trying, just keep with it!

2006-03-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

Ah The Pain

So went and did arms at the gym last night, overdid it again, oww it hurts. This is good though, since when your arms hurt you know for sure you are rebuilding them. So went and did arms all last night and chest. Spent more than an hour and a half in the gym, I think I am starting to get addicted to that place. Today is an off day for me, from any cardio, gym, as I am just plain drained. I think I am getting the flu so many of my fellow bloggers have given, perhaps you guys sent it to me through the blognet through the fat fighters blog roll, since most of them were sick last week.

Friday is going to be a big day. I am doing down to the running store to get shoes. The cough potatoe to 5 k program is working awsome, but my showed are starting to fall apart. I will need two new pairs on Friday, so this will be awsome.

Oh.. I realised today...I need a belt for a pair of pants that use to be tight :D

Not quite at 46 yet, but need a belt for 48...so I must be 47? Either way its an awsome feeling to have to use a belt again.

Well Im going to crawl back into bed, feeling the sickness come back, have an awsome day everyon!

2006-03-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Woot! 7 more pounds gone!

Yep thats right, 7 more pounds on the week. Total 15 down now, and feeling good. So that goes to show all you potential dieters out there that you can snack and still loose weight as long as you stay active and eat properly the rest of the time. So 15 down now. :)

On another note, I sort of forgot to set my alarm this morning, so morning cardio is starting tommorow instead of today hehe :)

Oh, someone asked for my protein shake recipee so here it is.

1 Scoop Protien Powder (Chocholate Flavor)
2 Bananas
500 ml mil
500 ml water
yogurt
Strawberries/grapes/oranges depending on what I have
Mix and put into two bottles. :)

Well adios for now guys :)

2006-03-05T13:54:00.000-08:00

Morning cardio, and Grocery Shopping

Well, the weekend has been slow for me so far. I sort of fell off the horse as some would say, but I am going to get back onto it tommorow. Tommorow I will start to try and do some morning cardio, a little cardio before classes. So at 6 am..I will join tons of other people who do this, and start a day out with some morning cardio.

Now, some people might ask what are the benefits of morning cardio. When I did weightlifting, it was always recommended to do morning cardio before eating anything, as your body will burn more fat this way. So a quick search of google showed that morning cardio does indeed burn more fat, as long as it is low intensity. So what I am thinking of doing is 1 hour low intensity trainer/treadmill in the morning and 1 hour high intensity in the afternoon. I need the HT cardio to get my cardio endurance up. So wish me luck, I have been getting up at 9-10am every morning for the last few months, and to start at 5am should be fun.

Now, onto something else that was bugging me as of late. I try not to be critical of overweight people, as I am one, and especially ones that are changing as I am, but the grocery store was just ridiculous when I went. Everyday we see people on TV complaining that so and so company is contributing to being overweight, and so and so product is increasing obesity. Now these complains are somewhat valid, along the same line as GM helps to contribute to car deaths because they make cars.

For anyone that does there own grocery shopping, there is no reason you cannot have healthy, good food stocked in your home. As I sit there picking up some fish, lean ground beef, and some boneless skinless chicken, other people are picking up bacon by the pounds, regular beef and battered chicken. Now, free choice is wonderfull, but this is where the problem of obesity starts in our country. It does not start with laziness (though that is an issue) it does not start with how busy people are (though that is an issue as well). The problem with obesity starts with Mr and Mrs smith shopping at local big value grocery mark, picking up fattening, salty food for little Jimmy at home.

People really need to understand that they themselves make the choice of what they put in there mouth. As well, it is your money you are spending on the food, so you decide. It does not take much to put choose lean beer over regular beef, and the .8cents/pound difference is not alot. Nor does it take alot to know for 7.5$ at the local burger joint, you can have 2 subway cold cut subs on whole wheat bread and a diet coke. Not only can you have more, the subway will not make you tired afterwards from all the fat!

To any personal trainers out there, or friends of people that are trying to loose weight, the best thing you can do for your client/friend/familly member is go with them to the grocery store. Walk with them through the place, purchase foods for the next 2-3 days not 2-3 weeks, stay on the outskirts of the store, which is where the healthier food is located. With maybe an extra 10 minutes of your day in the grocery store you can change your entire life overnight, just by picking up something different on the shelf.

Lifestyle changes start at the grocery store.

2006-03-03T17:23:00.000-08:00

Well last night was pretty bad. I messed up my diet with a bag of dorritos, a 6 pack of beer and chineese take out. It was a cheat day, but I didn't go to the gym either. So overall it was a day that my ass will love as it grows a little bit more. So Thom sent an email to me that sort of cheered me up, if you guys havn't yet you should go click on his link on the side and visit him. So this weel has been pretty hard, a pretty huge emotional rollercoaster with some people. Hopefully this weekend I will be able to get back on track.

I start classes on Monday, my last few credits I need for highschool. On this subject, I never truly understood how hard it was to go back and finish highschool once you drop out. Its almost like everytime you walk up to the school to finish your credits, it is sitting there staring you in the face telling you you have failed. Than after you are sitting in class, you realise that hey, you are there, you are making this work. So I am there, finishing her up, with a high enough average to get into the nano-engineer course over at Waterloo. So here I am, one year ago a high school drop out, overweight, stuck playing video games 10 hours a day and unemployed, and now a kid almost done highschool, going to University, planning to go to Cairo and Europe this year, quit gamming, working full time and loosing the weight finally. Amazing what a year can do for some people eh?

Had someone else send me an email that said when I am down to look back over the last year for motivation and it works. So I guess my plans for next year are to visit Europe and Cairo, get accepted to University and be at the weight I want.

So for those looking for motivation

March 3rd, 2005

400 Pounds
Addicted to Gaming, playing 6 hours a day
No excersize
No job
High school drop out
No future
No Hope

March 3rd 2006
400 pounds still :p
Quit gamming
Working out 4-5 times a week
Finishing up his diploma
Working towards University for 2007
Planning a trip to Europe and Cairo for Fall 2006

Seems people can change alot. Hopefully next year will be a whole new list of things.
For these things I really need to thank my mom, my dad and Joey. They were the one who really pushed me to change my life and made sure I didn't fall back into bad habits, and I really put them through hell for it. So thanks guys. :)

Now a plug hehe :D
I registered up for blogmad which is a blog exchange service. It is one of the best, and gives a 1-1 ratio which is usually what you get when you Pay other services. As well the blogs listed it in so far are really really really interesting. Sooo, since you guys obviously want to sign up for a service with a 1-1 ratio and help me out with some referals....

Now since it is invite only...all I ask is that you comment here and Ill send you an invite :)

2006-03-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

Good Morning everyone

Went to the gym last night around 10, pounded out 8 miles in 30 minutes on the stationary. Than I went and did stairs on a 25 stair flight.

For those that do not know what stairs are, you run up and down stairs 6 times. Thank a 1 minute break, than 5 times. Than a 1 minute break. You repeat this until you are done the last one, if you get there. I am at 3 right now, started at barely doing 5, so almost there. That was tiring as anything though.

After seeying the numerous top 10 lists. I decided to come up with one of my own. So this is the top 10 of things I already feel from my 2 week of lifystyle change.

10. No more Coffee
Due to the meals being spaced out, I am always awake. Therefore I was able to just stop drinking coffee without even trying.

9. Cycling wakes you up.
Worked a 12 hour shift, was exausted, instead of going home, I went to the gym for an hour. When I was done I was fresh and wide awake.

8. The Joy of foog.
I guess fast food/pre packaged food, food on the go does not taste as good as I always thought it did. Even dorritos taste so fake. The food I am eating now is delicious, appealing and I can actually savor it.

7. My legs do not hurt while Im walking anymore
Not talking about the 10-20 mile walks. I am talking about the 2 block walk to the bus that use to send my legs into agony. Now, I can comfortably walk downtown from my house (a 45 minute walk) without pain.

6. More energy through the entire day
I know this sort of ties into coffee one, but I have a ton more energy through the day, able to do more things, and am able to think more clearly.

5. More confidence
I at least know where Im going now, and can work to get there, that is huge.

4. Better moods
As a big guy who is not excersizing, depression is the norm. The excersize high that everyone always talks about is real, you can be on a good mood high all day from a good workout.

3. Better complexion
Guess the reason geeks always are pimply is because they sit there and do nothing all day, so sweat like mad. My entire face has cleard up in a week.

2. Clothes fit more loosely.
Already in a week of excersize and three weeks of dieting, I can wear two shirts that use to be too tight for me, and I am down one belt notch. :)

1. And the number one thing I have noticed...the number one..is I am happy overall, I am enjoying life again, I might still be huge, but I know it can change. I am happy with life.

2006-03-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

This is a post I wish I would never have to make.

A good friend and co-worker of mine Stacey Davis passed away a few days ago. A mother of three children and husband to another friend of mine she will be missed greatly. Always the one who would lighten up the mood here at work with a smile or a laugh, or bring in coffee for those hard morning shifts we use to work together. I had the pleasure of sharing a cubicle and working on project with Stacey for most of my time here, we spent many an hours laughing and joking together as we worked the phones together in our job. My prayers and hearts go out to her familly and children and her, I pray that they find the strengh through this hard time.

You will be missed Stacey

2006-02-27T21:49:00.000-08:00

Well..here are my before pictures in all there glory.

There they are, 411 pounds before pictures. Hopefully in 14 months these will be a pianfull memory.

2006-02-27T18:10:00.000-08:00

Well the results are in...

Comming out on February 27th...

Weighing in at........403 pounds!!!!!

TYLER HORTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, thats right! 8 pounds gone...almost under the 400 pound mark. I also hit 10 miles on the bike, life is feeling good right now. All that pain was worth it to see the scale go in the opposite direction for once. So first week, 8 pounds down. I can see the hill looking down now. Thanks for all the support this week guys..its been a hard hard hard week, heres to next week and even more of the same, with hopefully similar results.

Ciao for now.. :)

2006-02-26T18:17:00.000-08:00

Ok...

They started...

The hunger pains

Now...this is hurting. I just finished a good shot of 250 liquid calories from my shake, plus a 180 from the popcorn, and Im hurting, like in pain, want to eat till it stops hurting. I know this is my stomach shrinking, and this is good, and I should be happy its happening..but whoever started saying that stuff never went through it, it hurts sooooooooo badly. I think this is the spot most "lose weight" programs fall apart, once the pain starts the people quit. I can tell you..that is tempting! Im having to sit here...with these pains soooo hungry.

Thanks god I left my wallet at home today, which I did on purpose, because these hurt, and I might have bought some crappy food. Its not like I can even just snack, because I did, with popcorn...and still..it hurts.

Ugh...Im gonna go finish work..get to go home in an hour...2 hours till I get to eat my salad, than off to bed. At least asleep it won't hurt so badly.

2006-02-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

I created a new file at Fitday .

They have an awsome section to keep track of your weight, foods ect. So I went there and put in my daily diet, turns out Im eating about 1800 Calories a day, with 200 grams of Carbs and 102 grams of Protein. The carbs I could cut down by switching sliced white bread to whole wheat pitas which I will do next Friday.

Here is my profile there if any of you guys want to keep track of me. :)

Tylers Profile At Fitday

2006-02-26T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well...the trainer who takes me weight called in sick today, so I wasn't able to weigh in. I will be taking my weight tommorow though. I can't use the regular machines until I get under 350 again, so until than I need the trainer to do it with the other machine. Sorry about that guys, I will post back tommorow with the new weight.

Ciao

2006-02-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about food

From another bloggers post

http://spaces.msn.com/sharbear/
_________
Food Choices
Food choices are interesting, aren't they?

For example - 3 slices of a small pizza are 390 calories. One pound of frozen green beans are 125 calories. One family size Cambells Chicken Soup is total 360 calories (for the whole can!)

Food for thought, so to speak
___________

Now, I know I am not counting calories, and am just trying to generally eat healthy, but this has me thinking. 3 pieces of a small pizza, has as many calories as 3 pounds of frozen beans! Now, for those of you out there fighting the battle of the bulge who are always hungry, or always thinking you are hungry, this is pretty big. I mean, myself personally, I could not eat three pounds of frozen green beans. So we will take one of my favorite vegetable. Radishes.

Now these little things are good. Some people dislike them I suppose, but I personally love them. They have become a cruncher for me, one of those foods I eat to pass time. Now, here at work, where I work and have for the last year, we have a cafeteria. In this cafe are a good variety of foods, but mostly fried. My usual dieting exercises would always end in failure here, as I would starve myself for hours, than go eat my diet lunch, than get a huge craving, and go for a poutine at the cafe. (For those non Canadians, a poutine is fries covered in cheese and gravy.)

Now here at the cafe, our poutines are the same size as the large poutines at Harveys. The nice lil paper they give us at Harveys shows that poutines there run 750 calories. Let us add on a bottle of coke, which is what I usually had, 320 calories. Plus my diet lunch that was usually 2 sandwhiches Tuna and bread. Which came out to rougle 400 calories (Ironically just a lil more than the pop). So total lunch was 1290 Calories... about a 1000 less a day than I am consumming now, for one meal.

After this meal, as I am sure many of you could predict, I would be tired, very dim witted (not on the ball) and would usually need a nap after work.

Now today, I snack on about 10 ounzes of radishes at work, which is 60 calories. Than I have my lunch, a tuna sandwhich with lettuce, choped onions, mustard and some cayenne pepper. About 200-250 calories. I am more full, eating these healthy foods every 2-3 hours, in servings of 200-300 calories, than I was eating 4-5 meals a day of 800-1200 Calories. I am also more energetic, in a better mood, more creative, able to function better at work, and all this in a week and a half of chaning my diet. The change is so drastic my bosses have commented on my new mood. I guess this goes back to the story of you are what.

Another thing I have noticed in my new way of eating is how much more you appreciate the taste of foods. When eating processed,fastfood, you just eat, and taste the greasiness, fatty (which taste good don't get me wrong) and often unsatisfying (hunger wise) food. When you are choosing your foods for health wise, you begin to pay attention to the taste, and spices that you add to them. You look up recippees, and when you eat your food, it is more satisfying to you, than the fast food.

In other news, I would like to mention I joined the RoadBears club at http://www.bikejournal.com/ awsome, friendly club with alot of people who are all pushing each other to succeed. Jerry(who has been doing awsome at loosing weight) set up a website for them, at http://www.weightdesk.com/roadbears.htm If anyone here who a cyclist who is trying to lose weight, this would be an awsome motivator for you.

Well tommorow is weigh in day, I will post the results tommorow.

Ciao

2006-02-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

Just a quick 15 min sprint on the bike before work today. My legs are getting pretty rubbery and I might have to take a few days off.

I posted a pic of my in my profile finally, now I feel sorry for yall to have to start at my ugly mug everytime you come by, hopefully it won't chase too many of you away.

I am trying to upload some pictures right now for the blog, as well as learn how to put links on the side bar, so far it is not working.

Again, thanks for all the emails guys, they are helping with the motivation more than I can say.

Someone emailed me and said I should start posting my diet everyday, so I will start that. For now I will put it here, once I learn how to put links on the side, I will put it on the side.

So for today

Breakfest: 4 eggs, scrambled, toast, tea, orange

Snack: Yogurt, Banana

Workout

Lunch: Tuna Sandwhich, Diet coke with lime, half a protien shake (200ml milk, 100ml water, half scoop of banana, half scoop of protein powder)

snack: Full protien shake (600ml of milk, 300ml of water, banana, full scoop of protien)

Dinner: Tuna sandwhich, 5 glasses of water, tea

Evening: Salad with light italian dressing, 5 glasses of water.

As you can see most of my calories are placed in the early morning afternoon, with the bulk of them comming post workout.

I will work and try to get those pics up for you guys soon.
Oh..leave comments! :) You can post as anoymynous, Its ok :)

Ciao for now

2006-02-23T21:39:00.000-08:00

A different feeling

I am not sure how many bigger guys out there experience this, but I know it has been a while for me. Alot of people get this feeling constantly, but when you are a bigger guy, (like 350+) I guess it is not so common. Particularily among those of us that became thig big by eating, and eating alot all the time.

The feeling I am talking about...is feeling full.

Yep, thats right, I had honestly forgotten what it was like to feel full, a everyday occurence for some of us, totally threw me offguard.

Now, I know some people will never understand this, but, I had honestly forgotten, as I am sure some other people in the world have.

I had to ask a friend what was wrong with me.

me: man..my stomach hurts..
friend: What did you eat?
me: Well..it was my cheat night tonight, so 2 racks of ribs and a potatoe.. ugh...
friend: hmm..well since you have only been eating a sandwhich or salad, your prolly full..
me: oh...yeah...good point.

That was kind of embarassing, but hey, this blog is to show you the hill us big men/woman have to climb to make it back to a healthy life.

So yep, another small step towards my goals, my stomach has shrunk. These smaller portions spaced out are doing there thing.

Weigh in is on Sunday, catch you all tommorow, off to sleep.

Ciao

2006-02-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

Woot!!!!

8.5miles!!!!

Now, I know to alot of you that this might not be alot, but, to me, thats a huge mountain. Next goal is 10, which is halfway to the ultime goal of 20.

Now I wasn't the smartest cookie today and did leg weights after my 30 minute ride. I expect to be pretty sore tommorow, so will probally not go for 10. On another note, I managed to do 500 pounds on the leg press. I shouldn't be suprised at this, as I am 411 pounds, but still was satisfying to be able to push alot of weight. Of course, with my realisation that I still had alot of leg muscle, I did a leg workout, which is why I am sure I will be sore tommorow. I got some hot/cold gel and ibuprofen (vitamin I) so hopefully it will not be as bad as the arms were.

Weigh in is on Sunday, so we will see what is happening, I would be happy with even 1-2 pounds a week right now. Cross your fingers for me :)

Ciao

Also..if anyone has any tuna recipes or healthy Salad recipees email em over :)

2006-02-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

The Amazing Shrinking Man!: My New Look!

Just a quick post before I go off to the gym. Anyone wanting to read a truly truly inspirational story should click on this link. This man has gone from 568 pounds to 256 pounds in a little more than a year. Anyone looking for inspiration to get up and do there goals needs to check him out.

On another note my arms are feeling a ton better as are my legs, going to go and try for the 5.5 miles on the bike today. Going to go stop in a few bike shops too. Thanks for reading on guys, Ill update again later. Sunday is also weigh in day, so I will post my updated weight on sunday.

Ciao - Tyler

2006-02-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

After suggestions from numerous people I have postponed the personal training again until March13th. After the episode last night, I think itll be good to work my body back into weights slowly, rather than jump right in with the trainer. Today is an off day for me, as I am resting my legs and arms, so so sore. Most I will be doing today is taking my dogs for a walk.

Wanted to say thank you to everyone who has emailed, it is awsome to hear from people who are reading this blog and following along with me, helps keep the motivation up. My friend Beeg is going to be doing a diet plan up for me, he does diet plans for people, so he will be giving me one for free! Hopefully this will help with the diet. I am going to weigh in on Sunday and we will see how much I have lost so far, I think once a week weigh ins are good, and keep you sane from the water weight fluctuations that happen day to day.

Well I am off to the hottub for now, hopefully I will be able to move my arms a little more tommorow.

Ciao everyone, and thanks again for reading.

2006-02-22T01:17:00.000-08:00

So here I am at 3:30am...I can't sleep because my arms hurt so much, Now sure what I am going to do, going to have to cancel the personal training training today, might just take the day off to try and heal. Man it hurts, Ima try to get some sleep again, ciao

2006-02-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

So today was a hard day. As expected when I woke up my arms were sore, really really sore. Shaving was a challenge as was getting dressed. I cancelled the boxing today as I was wayyyy too sore. Maybe I am taking this too quickly. My push for 60 hours at week continues today, with another 8 hour day at work.

On other news, the tiredness is starting to come back, I think it might have something to do with the exertion yesterday, but I am definatly feeling very slow today. I went to the bike shop today, I think cycling will help with the getting back in shape. I am looking at around 700-800 dollars!!! I mean, I know that is not alot for a bike, as I have been looking around, but I was hoping to just drop 300-400 for my first one, than work it up from there.

Stats at the gym today, since Im using this as a log too.

5 miles on the bicycle (spinner) Aim is 5.25 tommorow

6 meals today

Cereal and toast this morning 10am

Protein Shake 1:30pm

Tune Sandwhich and a bottle of diet coke(mmmm) 3:30pm

Tune Sandwhich and water (5:30pm)

Salad (7:30pm)

Protein Shake (9:30pm)

Steak :D (11:30pm)

So as you can see, it seems like alot of food space out like that, when in reality Im barely hitting 2000 calories. At least I usually feel full.

Thinking of taking ephedrine again to help with the energy, would just take a small ammount 5 days a week, with weekends out, as I hate the mood swings.

Ciao for now.

2006-02-20T17:01:00.000-08:00

Well today was my first day training, and I am sore. I have been eating properly for the last week. My personal trainer suggested 6 small meals a day every 2 hours to help with my energy drop. It has worked beyond imagination, I feel like I can bounce off walls all day, I will definitely buy him a coffee next time I see him.

Today was my first day training. I was scared Ill admit it, I have never been so scared in my life. I walked into the same gym I have been going to for three weeks now, and I was scared. As I changed I thought about constantly just leaving, or maybe pretending to be sick and rescheduling. See, this visit was difference, much different than any ones of the previous three weeks. We were going to be doing weights....

Now, three years ago, Mr athlete would have loved to do weights, I would be drooling at the thought, but today..today I was not Mr. Athlete, I was Mr pound out of shape guy.

I went up to see Scott, I had met him last week as I was signing up for the personal training, he is a pretty cool guy, he played football for Guelph, which was the main reason I asked him to be my trainer.

I showed up at the gym around 4:00 for my 4:30 appointment, and changed into my outfit as the thoughts of running away crosses through my mind. I decided to do some cardio to warm up (this was a mistake but Ill tell you that later). So I jumped on a bicycle machine and went to it. I'm planning on buying a bicycle in 4 weeks, so figured it would be a good time to start. After doing my 15 minutes (4.5 miles, 18mph) I went off to see Scott.

At this point my legs were rubbery from the bicycle and I prayed to myself we would be doing no leg workouts today.

So I go up and see Scott, and he looks at me and says I am ready to hurt.. I like this guy, he means business. So me and Scott go over to the stairwell. He tells me I am going to run up and down this flight of stairs 6 times, than take a 1 minute break, than 5 times and a 1 minute ect ect.

At this point I am wishing I had not done any cardio, as my legs were already hurting. After this taking 15 minutes to do and me feeling like I'm about to have a heart attack we head over to the weights.

Now, with weights, I have no problem, save when the 110 pound blondie to my left is pushing twice as much weight with ease than I am, while I am struggling to push it with Scotts help. We started with bench press, which I pathetically was only able to do 25 and the bar at the end.

The workout went like this....

After the stairs and me gasping for breath like a fish out of water we go over to the weights.

Lay on bench
Scotts puts 50 pounds on side
I push the weight up and almost take my head off
Scott saves my life
Scott puts 35 on each side
I push up a pathetic 12 as the 110 blond beside me is pushing 50's on each side.

We go over to the pull downs
I do 35 pretty easily, 12 pull downs, Im feeling confident...

we take a one minute break, I stupidly, drink a full liter of water. ( we will see the results of this latter)

We go back to the bench, I am able to push up 35 about 8 times.. in crappy form..again..I have Scott help me with the last 4...

The blond is doing 65 a side now...

We go back to pulldowns, I do 50 now..life is good.

Go back to the bench press...I can't push up the 35, I can barely do 5 of the 25's....and can only pull out 10 of the bar...

little miss blond princess just finished 70 without breaking a sweat.

As we move on from the horror of the bench press, I start to feel faint..real faint. I tell Scott I'll be back in a second and run to the washroom, throwing up as I hit the bowl. For those who might just be starting out, take lil sips of water...not 1 liter gulps.

We now move on to pull ups, and flies. An exact episode of the bench comes back...

Scott helps me more than I help myself. He refuses to lower the weight, saying this will be the base, we can go up from there.

After this hour of horrors stop, I go hit the showers, spending a good 30 minutes in the steam room, before a 15 minute shower. Currently at work now, I feel great, save some tightness in the arms, which I expect. I expect the real pain will start tomorrow.

Tommorow I have a 30 minute boxing class, which is high intensity cardio...hopefully I will still be alive to make another post. :)

2006-02-20T16:46:00.000-08:00

Well I would like to welcome you all to my blog. For those that know me, and those that do not, thank you for taking the time to read through this. This blog is not for pity, nor sympathy. I do not have some disease that made me the way I am, or some evil childhood. Nor am I just big boned. A little over 3 years ago, I weighed 242 pounds. I was active, played basketball and football religiously. Around this same time I was sucked into the world of online gaming. For the next 3 years I played a knight in far away lands, a soldier going through monsters, everything and anything, it was an addiction.

This past January, as a resolution I decided to give up online gaming. I deleted the games off my computer, and as of Feb 20th, I have yet to play or even have a desire to play games.

My weight at this moment is 411 pounds at 38.7 % Bodyfat. I wear a size 48 pants, up from my size 38 of 3 years ago. I have some new goals in life, that do not include getting to level 30 in my games. I am going to the University of Waterloo in 2007, that gives me a year and a half to lose the fat, and get in shape enough to play football there. This blog will be my journal, so I can look back and see how far I have come. I invite you along with me on this path, so you can see that it is not impossible.