Please, don't stare at me, I’m trying to change


I am sure all of us who diet can relate to this feeling. You are going about your business, working, walking to school, walking to the gym, grocery shopping, and every few minutes you catch someone staring at you out of the corner of there eye. You see this, and you stop, and it hits hard, it hits hard that people look at you like you are so different. I am guilty of this, so are a lot of people, and I feel bad for it. People avoid you like obesity is some disease, no one sits near you on the bus, conversations strangers have stop when you are around, as they stare. I am a big guy, I know that, but there are people who are a lot bigger than me, and for all the staring I get, I know they have it worse. No matter how much I try, how much I workout, how much I want to change, I still feel guilty for eating in public, like someone somewhere is looking at me going "that’s why you are fat".

This can happen when you are eating a salad from a restaurant, people just sit there and stare at you. I almost want to jump up and scream at them, and ask them what are they staring at, do they not care that I am trying to change? That I am trying to turn into something different, something that will not be stared at?

It can also be a good motivator, you will not eat junk food in public, because you know people will look down on you, look at you with disgust, and think to themselves smugly "I got that person all figured out, they are fat because they eat so much".

I made this mistake, a friend of mine from the gym I saw him at McDonalds, so I went over to him. I said to him, thinking I was helping, "man, .this isn’t helping your diet". He looked at me, saddened obviously, and said "This is my cheat meal for the last two weeks, I love McDonalds, but I hate coming here and eating, I've lost a hundred pounds but this is nothing to these people".

I sat down with him, and ordered a cheeseburger, friends indulging together. We had an awesome conversation, and I had my cheat meal of the week. People stared, but we both knew inside that we were trying to change, trying to become something bigger. We were trying to be there for our children one day, for our grandchildren. We were working towards riding a century with the cycle club, or maybe we were just working, because we were tired of not being able to do the things we wanted. We left the McDonalds together, and walked the hour home, more than likely burning off most of the food we had just consumed.

Next time you stare, think to yourself, this person might be trying to change, they might just be enjoying a well earned cheat meal, or maybe they fell off the bandwagon as we all do from time to time.


Hopefully, one day, people will stop staring.